Now, I am not a winter-fan. I am winter-tolerant from Thanksgiving until Valentine’s day but then the weather really needs to head toward spring. Unfortunately for me, winter usually lasts through at least March in Michigan.
The other day we enjoyed a taste of spring. The weather was warm and pleasant. Kids shed their coats and it seemed that the whole neighborhood was outside. I even spied my first robins of the year. A sure sign that spring is on its way! But it is was not here yet.
The next day it was WINDY and the chill returned to the air. The forecast showed snow and a return to gloomy gray and chilly days. I get so tired of how those days drag out at the end of winter, just like I get weary of waiting for God to work in ways that I can see when I am in a difficult season of life.
I am so thankful for the progress I have been seeing with my PPPD (persistent postural perceptive dizziness)! I have returned to work and it is so good to be back. I do not have as many dizzy days as before and the ones I have are not as intense. Riding in the car is still triggering, and I miss the energy that I used to have before all of this.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m hugely praising God that I can work again and care for my family again. But this waiting to feel back-to-normal feels like waiting for spring to come in Michigan. It is taking f.o.r.e.v.e.r….
I have prayed for it. My church is praying for it. My friends and family are praying for it. I am doing the exercises recommended, but I’m still not there yet. I still don’t see how God is using this area of lack in my life for his glory, but I’m trying hard to keep my hope in him for salvation from it.
The truth is that I’m seeing progress. It is just not on my timetable, and it is not the progress complete healing that I’m looking for. But it is the progress that I get for now. The wait is hard, but it reminds me of this Bible verse in Psalm 42: 5
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
The psalmist was waiting for something, and they were getting quite discouraged. They had to remind themselves to keep their hope in God. I find this verse encouraging in a couple of ways:
- I’m not the only one who forgets to hope in God and needs to remind myself to replace my hope in him.
- I can continue to hope in Him even when the wait is long, and the progress is not clear.
- Recalling past ways God has helped me, will help me to be patient and hopeful now.
- God will come through in the end.
Either I will be fully healed and able to do all that I want to do, or God will use this challenge in my life in another way for his glory. I don’t know what that is yet, but I know that I can put my hope in him, and he is good.
I also want to remind myself and you that if you are waiting on God for something – an answer to a prayer, for healing, for help, whatever it is, that you are not alone. God promises us that we have his Holy Spirit in us to help us and strengthen us in our faith. Our ability to hope in God does not rest fully on us, but God will help us grow our faith and trust in him.
If I had to guess, I think he is really using all of this to help me learn more about meno – abiding in him. About resting in his plans and his timing and not forcing my ways or my priorities. He is helping me see how much he cares for me through how he brings me through hardships. I pray that you too can meno in him and see how he is caring for you in the midst of whatever challenges you are facing right now.
Let us put our hope in him, for we shall yet praise him! Our God and our Salvation!
Meno Moments 