Hi there! I don’t know what your summer has been like for you, but this summer has been one of change for my family and I. This is the first summer since college that I’ve been working and not on the “summers off” teacher schedule.

I had some freak-out moments going into summer. About the end of April as May approached I started to question my life choices of leaving classroom teaching. Even though I KNEW that I had made the right choice for my mental and physical health and for my family, I still felt like – but DID I?? Now I’ve lost my ability to spend time with my kids and husband in the summer and do big projects together and travel, and, and, and….

*Deep Breath*

I mostly calmed down by the time we hit June and kept telling myself that me working wasn’t going to be that big of a deal. I only work part time, so we still have a good chunk of the afternoon and all evening together. We also had these screen tickets (checklists of chores and activities the kids had to complete each day before getting screen time) that we had used in summers past. If I got those ready so Peter could use them to keep the kids on some sort of routine. There are also these things called vacation days that I could use if I needed to take time off. It was going to be fine.

Logically my brain agreed, but my emotions were not as quickly convinced that the change would be ok.

Well, now we are nearing mid August and I can honestly, this summer really still has felt like a break. The kids don’t have to be up and out the door as early, so I don’t have to get up as early either. I get my hours in and then we’re able to go out and do something fun or just chill at home, walk the dog and eat on the deck. We’ve made great use of our weekends and have done fun things with family and friends. We even got in a week long trip to Hocking Hills in Ohio with my husband’s family, and an anniversary getaway weekend to the Ann Arbor Art Fair. Those things mixed with playdates, birthday parties, and pool time have made for a beautiful summer.

Another big change this summer is that my husband’s been solo parenting most of the day while I work. That means he’s the one who comes up with the plans, not me and my little screen ticket. He shares my goals of limiting screen time for our kids and teaching them to be responsible, but he has his own methods. At first I wasn’t so sure how his less-structured style was going to play out, but it’s actually gone really well. The kids still do their chores most of the time (which is all I can ask), and they have a lot of fun with their dad on their spontaneous adventures. All the while, my little screen tickets and scheduled approaches sit quietly in the corner collecting dust and dog hair. And that is fine.

In fact, seeing them let loose has been kind of inspiring for me. I have also been reading (listening to interviews and podcasts about) The Power of Fun and it has helped me shift my approach to daily life and schedules this summer, too. The author, Catherine Price, argues that having real, regular fun is the key to a healthier, happier, more fulfilled life. She is not talking about zombie-scrolling Facebook several times a day or even watching your favorite Netflix show. Instead, Price describes fun as when you embody a mix of playfulness, connection, and fun.

I can tell you that real fun, had honestly been at the bottom of my “things I’m allowed to make time for” list in the past. Things like productivity, helpfulness, usefulness, and personal development were at the top of that list. After years of living that way, my soul was shriveling up in side of me.

I didn’t really stop to notice that though or realize this was not a healthy way to live until I went through a physical and mental health crisis with PPPD and depression. I finally saw how the way that I was living was not healthy or sustainable. There is nothing wrong with teaching, or being a full-time working mom, those are great and important things. There was a problem with the way I was going about it though, and a problem with the impossible standards that I was holding myself to.

Never allowing myself to live off-schedule or have fun just because I felt like it was putting crushing amounts of pressure on me to always be “on”. Living like that 24/7, with no breaks, and always expecting perfection out of yourself is a recipe for burn out for sure. Even my doctors think that stress was ultimately what brought on my PPPD.

Stepping back with work to a part time job, and taking better care of myself physically and mentally have helped a lot with my PPPD symptoms. I’m not dizzy all the time now. I’m even starting to feel like I can do weekly drives to the grocery store again and two years ago driving at all was off the table! That’s huge progress and I’m thankful for the ways I feel like I’m getting my life back.

But fun, that idea of letting loose a little, trying something new or interesting, or building a hobby or a skill that you love – that has been restorative to my soul! As you might have guessed for my personal brand of fun, I’ve chosen to take regular time to create art or enjoy writing (like this). Art especially, has always been something that brings me joy, but in the past it has not had a place in my daily life because it wasn’t on the “necessary for work and caring for a family” list. I didn’t know the difference it could have been making if it had been.

I’m taking a page out of my husband’s book! I’m finding time several days a week to have fun and enjoy creating whatever feels inspiring to me that day. Somedays it a random sketch or painting, other days I’m watching a tutorial for Procreate for the iPad and learning how to do something new with that. (I’ll have to gush about how much I’m loving Procreate another day!) For me, allowing myself to develop my art skills is real fun. It’s not something I am doing for work or because it meets someone else’s needs, but simply something I’m doing because it brings me joy!

So before this goes from being a wordy post to being an excessively, wordy one, let’s wrap this up! 🙂

I’m thankful to be where I am right now. I’m thankful I’m working this summer and that our daily lives look different than I thought they should. I’m thankful for my kids getting to spend more time with their laid back, down to earth dad. I’m thankful for the fun that we’ve had together this summer and for the fun that I’m learning to have for myself, too. I’m thankful that God knows what my family and I need, better than we do, and that he works all things together for the good of those who love Him.

If you don’t have a hobby or any kind of regular fun in your life, I highly recommend that you start to look for ways to add some in!

Love and Hugs, Heidi