I have been trying to focus on some scriptures lately that help me to remember who I am.  Satan loves to tell me lies that who I am isn’t enough for the life I am living or the roles that God has called me to. This often leaves me feeling that my worth is only found in what I can do. One verse that helps me to readjust my identity source is Psalm 139: 13-14. 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; My soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139: 13-14

We often hear this verse when someone is expecting a new baby.  It’s not something that usually pops into our minds when we are 33 and dealing with health issues and watching our friends’ lives carry on around us. I think that it should though.

God knew what his plans for me were before I even took a breath. He knew where I would be living and working at this stage of my life. He knew who my friends would be and what challenges I would face throughout the course of my life. He knew all of that before he made me. None of it was a surprise to him. When I find myself wondering if I am really qualified for the life I am living or if I should try to become different in some way, I am working on stopping myself and remembering to think about this verse. The answer to Who am I? or Am I enough? is two fold:

1. I absolutely am the person God meant to be living this life.

2. I’m also not qualified to do it on my own.

What do I mean? Well, when God was creating me he knew exactly what he would be calling me to do, who I would interact with, what gifts and talents I would need, and what capabilities life would require from me.  He equipped me in many ways to play my role in his story. When I doubt myself, I need to remember that God doesn’t make mistakes and he chose me to be me, just like I am.  What I am going through may not be easy, but God called me to it for a reason.  I am right where I should be, and I am who I should be.

There are also some things that God also didn’t give me when he made me.  These were not a mistake either. God intentionally left holes in my heart and capabilities that would make me long for him and cry out for his help.  He also made me in a way that I would need other people in my life.  None of us are created to live alone. We are made for community – both with God and each other. 

I don’t always like that. The lies that often creep into my mind is that the more self-sufficient I am, the more loving I can be to others. If I find a way to have no needs then I can take care of more people. But this isn’t true! If I find a way to look like I have no needs, I can actually make others feel pressured to feel like they shouldn’t have needs either. If I do all the things by myself, I heap unnecessary pressure on myself and deprive others of the chance to use their God-given gifts too.  (Surface Pressure from Encanto anyone? That movie made me cry so much – but we’ll maybe chat about that another time)😭❤️

So remember, friend. You are qualified for the life you are living and the challenges you are facing. You You have gifts and abilities that God thought that you would need for the life that he has called you to. You also are not qualified to do it alone. Reach out to God, tell him all about it, ask for his help, and thank him for his promises to you to be with you always. I’m going to be working on learning more of those promises myself, so we can do this part together.

And don’t forget to reach out to others and ask for help.  It is hard to admit that you need it, but God’s family is lovingly waiting to walk with you through whatever you are facing. Talk to one friend or many, but let others in. You’ll be glad that you did. ❤️

Finally, I want to leave you today with a song. My amazing husband, Peter O’Neill, wrote this song for the school that we work at. It went along with our theme a few years ago of My Life, God’s Story. May it put a spring in your step and a reminder in your heart when you feel like you’re not enough. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God’s called you to this role in His story!

Love and Hugs,

Heidi